


Ragnarssons Headcanons

by amyponders



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vikings, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Awkward Flirting, Best Friends, Blood and Violence, Childhood Friends, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff without Plot, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Harassment, Headcanon, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Imagines, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Modern Era, Multi, Murder, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Ivar (Vikings), Pregnancy, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Secret Crush, Sexual Harassment, Slow To Update, Some Humor, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, VIKINGS AU, Vikings imagines, i hate him, no Sigurd in here, platonic but not really????, they're possibly in love with reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27156410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyponders/pseuds/amyponders
Summary: My collection of headcanons for the sons of Ragnar in different situations.
Relationships: Bjorn (Vikings)/Reader, Bjorn (Vikings)/You, Hvitserk (Vikings)/Reader, Hvitserk (Vikings)/You, Ivar (Vikings)/Reader, Ivar (Vikings)/You, Ubbe (Vikings)/Reader, Ubbe (Vikings)/You
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	1. Being best friends with the Ragnarssons and you tell them a man harassed you

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at writing headcanons. Be gentle, I don't know what I'm doing lmao
> 
> I'll keep adding chapters as I write them. Use the index to see the complete list.
> 
> " " = their dialogue  
> < > = reader's dialogue  
> << >> reader's thoughts

Bjørn

  * Impassive face
  * Barely lets out a word
  * He doesn’t move while you talk
  * Save his massive shoulders
  * They rise up and down steadily
  * You stutter a bit trying to downplay it
  * You’re not sure if he’s listening
  * Oh, but he is
  * <Bjørn? Bjørn, talk to me.>
  * If he’s this calm it can only mean one thing
  * He leaves the room walking unhurriedly
  * You stare at the floor not knowing what to do
  * I mean
  * It’s not like you could do anything
  * He’s unstoppable once he sets his mind on something
  * Still...
  * Have you made a mistake?
  * Surely nobody needs to die
  * Why did you have to tell him?
  * Your foot taps on the floor impatiently
  * And an hour goes by...
  * Your heart is shrinking inside your chest
  * You know he’s the Ironside
  * But,,, what if he gets hurt?
  * It would be _your_ fault
  * You’re about to promise the gods a sacrifice if they bring Bjørn back alive
  * But he bursts through the door 
  * Blood covering him from head to toe
  * He grabs a clean cloth for his scarlet-tainted hands
  * Then kneels in front of you
  * Haughty eyes that say he regrets nothing
  * “I collected the debt he owed you.”
  * “He paid with his life for his insolence.”



Ubbe

  * You come into his tent panting 
  * Tears pooling in your eyes
  * “Y/N?”
  * Strong arms wrap around you in no time
  * The tightness in your chest loosens
  * You’re safe
  * You don’t want to tell him at first
  * <It’s not what you think, I’m fine!>
  * He can always tell when you’re lying
  * You try to scurry away
  * Ubbe refuses to let you leave until you tell him
  * “I love you, but I’ll tie you to that fucking chair!”
  * His stubbornness knows no limits
  * Suddenly he’s calm again
  * Reassures you by saying he won’t act impulsively
  * Earnest blue eyes looking into yours
  * All tenderness 
  * And you believe him
  * He crouches in front of your chair until you’re done talking
  * Steady breaths through his nose
  * <<Maybe he won’t go looking for revenge after all.>>
  * Silence
  * “And this happened at the market you say?”
  * <Y-yes.>
  * You hear him grunt
  * “HVITSERK!”
  * “Grab your sword! Let’s go!”
  * You can’t believe how easily he fooled you
  * But he shouts back from outside the tent:
  * “What did you expect?”
  * “This is about you.”
  * “Of course I lied!”



  
  


Hvitserk

  * “I always knew he was a sleazebag”
  * “You’re too trusting”
  * “Don’t walk around alone!”
  * Then the light hits your face
  * “Oh…”
  * You should’ve stayed in the shadows
  * “What’s that bruise on your cheek?”
  * You hadn’t been completely honest with him
  * “Wait a second.”
  * “You didn’t tell me he touched you!”
  * “He actually _touched_ you?!”
  * Heads straight for the door
  * Hand on the hilt of his sword
  * “No. Hang on.” 
  * Stops dead in his tracks
  * “I need to make sure you’re alright first”
  * Drops the sword from his belt with a clang
  * “Stay still! Let me clean it up!”
  * Decides to stay the night with you
  * Cuddles you until you fall asleep
  * Light caresses down your arms
  * Butterfly kisses on your forehead
  * A few days pass by
  * And you think he’s forgotten all about it
  * Walking into town you hear an uproar
  * You make your way through the crowd
  * It’s as you dreaded 
  * He’s there
  * <Hvitserk... What did you do?>
  * Fear coats your voice
  * Your eyes trail downward
  * Blood is pooling at the prince’s feet
  * And a man lies in agonizing pain
  * Hvitserk looks at you and laughs full of mad joy
  * Then brushes your cheeks tenderly 
  * His dripping thumbs painting your face red
  * “Well, he can’t touch you if he has no hands!”



Ivar

  * Finds you crying in the hallway
  * Doesn’t know what’s wrong at first
  * But he knows it’s serious
  * You never weep like that
  * Sits next to you in silence until you calm down
  * His hands on top of yours
  * He speaks after your breathing returns to normal
  * “Y/N, if you say somebody so much as breathed the wrong way around you I...”
  * He cuts himself short
  * You know he’s trying to spare you the details of his twisted imagination
  * In the end, you tell him
  * Not because you want revenge
  * But because you know that deep down he’s barely keeping it together
  * Downright boiling in anger to see somebody has upset you
  * Even if he’s trying to keep his peace for your sake
  * Nobody hurts his darling girl
  * Nobody
  * You’re the purest thing he’s ever known
  * And no one gets to touch you with their filthy fingers and draw breath on this Earth for much longer
  * “This is why I never let you out of my sight”
  * He _needs_ to know who did this to his sweet little dove
  * He listens with nostrils flaring
  * Mouth twisting in disgust
  * He grabs your face gently with his strong fingers
  * “I make you this promise in front of the gods, Y/N. He _will_ die today.”
  * The crutches resound heavily down the empty corridors as he wanders away
  * A sinister sound to all who know and fear Ivar the Boneless
  * “His family will burn.”
  * “And his death will be my masterpiece. You will see.”




	2. Halloween with the Ragnarssons would include:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Modern AU*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings 🧡 Quick Halloween h/c I just wrote cuz inspiration suddenly hit me. It’s super late in the night so please ignore any mistakes and things that don’t make sense lol 
> 
> Happy halloween! 🎃

  * Trick or treating around the neighborhood with 4 burly bodyguards who refuse to let you go out alone dressed like that™️
  * And everybody assuming that their serious faces are part of their costume
  * And maybe they are
  * But they’re also not happy when too many guys compliment you
  * Or stare at your cleavage and mini skirt
  * They say they’re tagging alone for your “safety”
  * But they also secretly love to dress up
  * Ivar would go as the creepiest zombie
  * Damn near gave you a heart attack when he came down the stairs
  * Popping behind you out of nowhere
  * You had to give it to him
  * Incorporating his limp was a clever move
  * Most elaborate makeup wounds
  * You have no clue who did them
  * Maybe he learned how to do them himself?
  * That would explain the search history on your Youtube account
  * ‘zombie makeup S C A R Y’
  * Ubbe would dress up as an undead pirate
  * And end up looking more sexy than spooky
  * Blushing the color of his bandanna when you compliment him
  * Catch Bjørn dressing as Khal Drogo
  * Only because your suggestion to dress as Bamm-Bamm Rubble was too insulting
  * He’s not one for cutesy costumes
  * He’s a man _dammit_
  * Unlike Hvitserk who doesn’t care and totally bought a bee outfit
  * Huge yellow ass and antennas included
  * He would try to sneak some of your candy into his bag when you’re not looking
  * And not be very successful
  * “Hey, bees eat... candy”
  * You’d try to explain that raw honey is not the same thing as candy
  * No matter how much he tries to argue
  * But trick-or-treating wouldn’t last long
  * Two streets over and you’d run back to the house
  * Literally run
  * When Ubbe suddenly remembers you left dinner in the oven
  * Y’all would probably eat around the burned rims of the dishes
  * Because cooking another roast with potatoes and pie would take hours
  * And you’re too hungry
  * Hvitserk would order a pizza anyway because half of the food had to be thrown away
  * Boy needs his calories
  * Out of nowhere, Floki would call to complain that nobody wants to help him set the Samhain feast 
  * That’s the real purpose of Halloween
  * Not the store-bought costumes and excess candy festivity
  * Blah blah
  * You’d roll your eyes and hand the phone to Ubbe
  * After cleaning the kitchen with Bjørn and Ubbe you’d put the leftover candy away
  * Then shower
  * And go looking for Ivar of course
  * He’d be holed up in his room
  * Playing video games as usual
  * Huge slasher movies fan
  * Has posters of vintage horror flicks covering the walls
  * And of his favorite Scandinavian black metal bands
  * Creepy Funko Pops?
  * Has them all
  * Pennywise, Jason, Freddy, Alien, Michael Myers, Leatherface
  * Carrie, Billy from Saw, Chucky & Tiffany, Annabelle…
  * You get it
  * It’s Halloween all year long for him
  * He’d be surprised to see you there
  * You don’t like his taste in decor
  * You need open spaces and clean bright walls to breathe
  * <Come join us in the living room>
  * <Ubbe wants to watch a scary movie>
  * <I can’t do it without you; they’ll tease me>
  * The last time you watched a horror movie with Ubbe and Hvitserk they plotted to scare the crap outta you 
  * Ubbe turned off the TV sneakily 
  * And Hvitserk walked in wearing an _eerily_ realistic mask
  * They heard your screams two houses over
  * Not cool
  * At least with Ivar around, they’d behave 
  * No practical jokes
  * You hoped
  * <Please,,,>
  * A kiss on his cheek would def do the trick
  * He melts under your touch even if he tries to hide it
  * Then back on the couch you’d be surrounded by your favorite troublemakers in no time
  * Except for Bjørn
  * Ever the big brother
  * He’d be in the kitchen preparing several bags of popcorn for his siblings
  * They’re still hungry somehow
  * “Hey, Y/N, is this corn organic?”
  * He’d shout from the kitchen and you’d laugh
  * <Who cares? It’s just popcorn!>
  * Credits would start rolling and you’d be clinging to Ivar’s arm already
  * “Scaredy-cat” 
  * He’d smirk
  * And sure enough, Bjørn would come up from behind and spook you
  * “Boo!”
  * He knows how jumpy you get when watching horror movies
  * He’s cackling
  * That’s payback for laughing at his special diet
  * Hvitserk and Ubbe would be hovering around your feet 
  * Fighting over who gets to sit between your knees
  * “Just take turns!” 
  * *eye-roll*
  * Ivar has no patience for them
  * You’d scratch Hvitserk’s crown softly 
  * And he’d practically purr like a cat
  * Bjørn would lay his head on your lap
  * And you’d feel grateful to have those four idiots in your life 
  * They might tease you and irritate you and guard you way too much but
  * What would you ever do without them? 




	3. Imagine you are pregnant and a single mother...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might've gone a bit overboard lmao. I never write headcanons this long but once I started, I literally couldn't stop. I just wanted to jot down some ideas and finish them some other day but these four just wouldn't let me go...

  * Hvitserk...
  * Well, Hvitserk tries to convince you to marry him
  * Saying he would gladly be the father of your child
  * Ignoring the fact that Ubbe asked you first
  * “I could take care of you.” Ubbe declares sincerely
  * But you have a good laugh and turn them both down
  * You appreciate them trying to cheer you up but,
  * <This isn’t Victorian England; I won’t be publicly ruined, you guys>
  * “Hvitserk’s just saying that because he wants an excuse to sleep with you.”
  * “Excuse you, Saint Ubbe. But so do you!”
  * They argue while sitting on your kitchen table
  * Literally _sitting on it_
  * The little heathens have no manners and you are tired of telling them to stop behaving like a biker gang 
  * And while there’s some truth to what they accuse each other of...
  * (You’re not _blind_ )
  * (You’ve seen the way they stare at your ass)
  * Typical fuckboy behavior
  * You also know that they genuinely care about you
  * And your baby
  * And you feel extremely lucky to be able to count on them
  * Take Ubbe for example, 
  * He stresses out over baby names with you
  * You share a Google doc with him that he constantly updates with suggestions
  * He even found an app for it
  * “You sure I can’t convince you to name him after me?”
  * “Over my dead body.” Ivar interrupts from the couch and responds in your stead
  * Speaking of Ivar… he says that he hates the idea of throwing a baby shower 
  * Such a lame excuse of a party
  * And pastel colors? Seriously? 
  * But he’s the first to offer his house
  * Yelling at all the servants that the place needs to be absolutely spotless the day of your shower
  * (Because, yes, he has servants)
  * (His family is old-money rich)
  * You still don’t know how you befriended these four WASP-y kids in college
  * But whatever, that’s another story
  * As I was saying,
  * Ivar scares the shit out of his poor employees
  * “I specifically asked for gardenias, not jasmines!”
  * “She’s a l l e r g i c to jasmines. Do you want to be fired for your incompetence?!” 
  * Then orders them to prepare a permanent room in his house for you and your baby
  * “My house is mostly empty. I could use some company.”
  * So you divide your time between his house and your apartment at first
  * It’s better than being stuck in your depressing tiny four walls anyway
  * Until you just basically... move in with him
  * <I mean I like living with Ivar...>
  * “You’re weird.” Hvitserk scoffs
  * And you give him a mean side-eye
  * <...but what about my rent?>
  * You question the brothers while carrying a heavy backpack down the steep stairs
  * Before a panicking Ubbe rushes to help you
  * “Leave that to us, Y/N” Hvitserk says chuckling 
  * He finds it extremely amusing that you are always worrying “about insignificant things”
  * “Like money” 
  * His words, not yours
  * “Well, you’re about to pop, and if you don’t move to a place that Ivar can easily walk into…” The blond continues
  * “...he’ll have our entrails for breakfast” Ubbe finishes his brother’s sentence
  * “We just- think it’s better if you're closer to us. For your own safety, even” Bjørn remarks politely 
  * Then you recall how Bjørn kicked out your baby daddy a few days ago when he appeared on your doorstep begging for you to have him back
  * You and your 8-month belly had felt sort of vindicated tbh
  * “Y/N, that prick was never here and he’s not about to appear now; he can get fucked,” was Bjørn’s explanation for the extremely hostile way he handled him
  * You always thought that Ivar had no equal in the grudge-holding department
  * But,,,
  * Bjørn could be just as resentful
  * _And_ aggressive
  * Not that you blamed him
  * Your baby daddy was the poster child for a deadbeat dad
  * ‘I thought you were on the pill, that kid isn’t mine, and oh btw you’re a whore’ kind of deadbeat dad :)
  * He refused to answer all your calls
  * And did not go to a single doctor’s appointment
  * But lucky for you, you have them
  * Hvitserk goes out to buy your every craving 10/10 times
  * And let’s be honest,
  * Secretly he’s just excited to have a reason to go shopping for food
  * Plus he’s always awake
  * Like
  * Always
  * No matter the time of day (or night) that you call him 
  * So it works out for you both
  * As long as you give him some of what you are eating
  * He loves trying all your disgusting food mixes with you
  * For no good reason other than feeling adventurous
  * Much to everyone’s revulsion
  * Also, he’s always game to go shopping for baby stuff with you
  * And his recommendations would _not suck,_ surprisingly
  * He has a nice taste
  * He goes aisle by aisle with you
  * And actually **talks** out the options with you
  * There’s nothing worse than shopping with an apathetic or rushing partner
  * But thankfully, he’s not it
  * It doesn’t hurt that he never lets you pay either
  * You still act offended every time 
  * But you’re kinda relieved whenever he swipes his black card and you have $400 dollars less in baby stuff to worry about 
  * Who knew that having a kid would be so expensive?!
  * Ubbe is the one you call when feeling ill though
  * He warms up some soup 
  * And holds your hair while you puke
  * And gives you your vitamins on the clock because the doctor said they were important (!)
  * His hands work like a charm on your swollen ankles
  * Thick cream and warm compresses on your aching belly
  * And his deep rumbling voice always soothes all your fears
  * You can even coax a song or two out of him if he isn’t too embarrassed at the moment
  * He gets you all the special pillows and maternity outfits
  * And tells you that you’re beautiful and that you do _not_ look fat at all every time he gets the chance
  * <I should’ve gone for someone like you...> You cry on his shoulder often
  * He just smiles and strokes your arm
  * In short,
  * Ubbe’s so so sweet to you
  * And he makes for the **best** nurse
  * Bjørn, however, is your go-to guy whenever you’re feeling under the weather and want a good cuddle
  * It is known he’s the best hugger
  * And he spoils you too much
  * He would bring the moon down for you if you asked
  * So he’s secretly your favorite
  * Heh
  * But don’t tell Ivar
  * He once left a board meeting with his dad two states over 
  * To get on his family’s chopper
  * And come spend the night in your apartment 
  * Because you texted him that you felt miserable
  * Ragnar was about to throttle him
  * “How dare you walk out on a family deal?!”
  * Until he found out it was because of you
  * He has a soft spot for you
  * He keeps saying that one day one of his sons is going to marry you
  * He just knows it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  * And you always laugh
  * <All due respect, Mr. Lothbrok, but you’re insane.>
  * “I’m just Ragnar, and we’ll see who’s insane.”
  * So yeah,
  * Feel like bawling your eyes out without someone judging you?
  * Bjørn
  * Your baby is kicking too hard and you can’t sleep?
  * Bjørn
  * You have no idea h o w he does it
  * But every time Bjørn speaks to your little munchkin in his sweet-stern voice
  * (“Alright, kid, that’s enough, momma needs to sleep.”)
  * He _behaves_
  * And you have to admit that you love Bjørn’s cologne 
  * Or maybe it’s just the way he smells naturally 
  * But it calms you down
  * And perhaps it makes you, like, a tiny bit horny
  * Honestly,,, with your mood swings 
  * And the cocktail of hormones coursing through your veins
  * Who could know for sure?
  * And of course Ivar
  * Your sweet, grumpy Ivar enters your room at night when he thinks you’re asleep to check up on you
  * He fills up your glass of water and tucks your sheets in “the right way” 
  * Then leaves without making a sound
  * He, who likes to pretend in front of everyone else that he has no feelings
  * Has hung up all your tiny ultrasounds snaps on his fridge door
  * Well,,, now it’s _your_ fridge door
  * You still have to remind yourself
  * He even baby-proofed the house and bought like a lifetime supply of diapers and baby formula
  * And ok, you might have cried a little when you found out about that
  * It’s just that,,, living with him is probably the best decision you ever made
  * He’s such a thoughtful housemate and you can’t believe how he’s the same guy who used to scare the living daylights out of you the first few times you saw him around campus
  * I mean,
  * He just always looked like he was planning a murder-robbery, you know?
  * Hands inside his expensive pants and a slow gait that quite frankly gave him so much character
  * But also made him kinda terrifying 
  * And now he was devouring parenting books unprompted
  * You constantly find him late at night studying with a laborious look on his face 
  * Like someone who’s reading the manual on how to assemble a very complicated cabinet before it even arrives
  * He shares tidbits of knowledge with his brothers
  * All of them gathered around the coffee table or sprawled on the sofa
  * In times like that, you sneak up in between Ivar’s chest and his book... 
  * Wanting to feel the safety of his arms around you for a little while
  * Near the last weeks of your pregnancy, the whole of your body is sore e v e r y w h e r e
  * <Does it say in there when my tits will stop hurting so bad?> You pout and whimper at Ivar
  * Making him lower the book to look at you
  * “No. But it says here that you should apply some cream on your nipples in a rubbing motion.” 
  * A brief silence where the remaining brothers exchange looks ensues
  * Followed by Hvitserk sprinting out of the sofa to grab the jar of cream from the bathroom
  * Only to be stopped by Bjørn’s massive arm
  * “Don’t even think about it.”



**Author's Note:**

> Look me up on Tumblr! deans-ch-ch-cherrypie.tumblr.com
> 
> In case you want to support me: https://ko-fi.com/amyponders


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